gonna post blogs every sat and sun

i have come after a really long time- sorry i was busy

i am a kind of a person who hates holidays, cause they r boring and there is nothing much to do, and where i live i dont even have a beach nearby... and holidays just kind of suck for me- i get thrown into a void where i have to be around my family- i get it they are nice people and care for me but i am a teen and they dont get it, i have my own weird issues and thoughts

as a being i try to help people out- but during i help them i say things to them i dont even consider right for me, like say some serious stuff and then be like, "hey, do u get what you are saying?" but i like helping others i dont want them to face issues i am currently facing, i want them to be happy- a feeling i dont even think i have in me left... 

i am like just another teen person... i have always thought that 16 was supposed to be magical, sparkly and glittery but my perceptions were led down- i am currently in a glorious age where i get doomed day by day- i want other's attention and all the love they shower me- but i also wanna lock my self in a dark room stare at the ceiling and make out whats wrong with me? there has to be something wrong cause if it wasnt i wont be lying there and thinking about it...

and well to be frank being 16 is harder, i dont know how- but somehow all the fun and happiness gets thrown away and pulled out as if being sucked by a vacuum cleaner... u cant be the same person anymore, its just being happy goes into oblivion... but well u have to put a smile on your face and joke around when you are being torn from inside- cause you dont wanna cause trouble or make your family and friends sad... and you cant even cut, cause u want that dreadful thing to be with you- the shock and the horror to stay and to not get separated from you...

so i went up to the store- the door was open- i went inside and saw these cute candles- took them all to my room and kept them in a glass case- and when i light it- the whole room glows with mystical lights...

 i am sitting in my room writing a blog- hungry very very hungry and 'm talking to a friend after a very long time... its awesome...