Sunday, January 3, 2016

the Grande POST

Hola peeps, kinda think my last with “dates” posts were okay but u needed something more from me- as in the Makaria Channel- sooooooooooozz here it is…
Last week (not really) on my channel I had a thought- of how rape is not what the victims ask for- the portrayal of the limited videos where rape has been caught on by the media gives them an opportunity to target women- the victims and blaming the “rape” to be their fault- as in those videos the victim wore short clothes- like yeah my legs are showing- I am asking for it- please rape me or my arms are showing- oops I am again asking for it- please do really come and rape me—nope this in not how it works or should work in any context… even if I am seen wearing a Burka the jerk man who is to rape me wont mind- really wont in any context… most girls or women in India wear suits- the traditional attire which kinda covers our whole body from  top to bottom- no “arms” or “legs” are shown in that case... and really making arms and legs a piece of sexual arousal is SICK!! And also blaming the victim is again sick- like Mr. XYZ that jerk raped your daughter and instead of unmasking him and sending him into jail u are gonna blame your daughter- like she was not who went to him and said see Mr. jerk, lets do a one night stand- nope that beef faced man came to her and did those things to her… and girls and women out there its never your fault what that jerk did, it was his and in order to unmask him-u need help, tell somebody- if u think ur family will blame you, please go to the police or the nearest NGO and get help… PLEASE!!
And on second thought I am gonna get spectacles- I know EWE! But I kinda need them very much- the lens’s power is gna be- 3.250!! See I tld ya I am practically blind- and one of my powers include typing wonderfully without seeing!! HAHA!!
Also came recently back from my sisters wedding in Udaipur, Rajasthan… and man what a city. Also do you know Mexico has been named the Rainbow City- that’s right- for the LGBTQI community- proud and happy AF!!
This post was written in the span of several days and I am happy to tell u that I have got my spectacles- WHOOO!! The world upon wearing them appears to be in a wonderful splash of marvelous colors and I can read far things with great ease- sooozz in short my world now appears to be constantly in HD resolution.
Also peeps do y’all lovelies know this blog post is gna be effing lengthy- cause well WHAY NOTzzy!!
So let me ur wonderful host without further adieu give u the story of my time at moi SISTERzz wedding which took place in this wonderful city of Udaipur, Rajasthan (which being aforementioned was already known to ya people still more words mean more length- hehe!) so this very particular journey was done by the road and let me inform u guyz I stayed awake the whole journey- yep and it took us less than a day to reach Udaipur which is like in middle of India in the east from Nawanshahr, Punjab which is one of the Northern Indian states- hence I was awake from 9 AM the Fourteenth to 3 AM the Fifteenth… YOLO! My mum slept though like a hog!! And soo did my lil siblings- Ahaana, Vivaan and Abhay notice how there names has more vowels than ur regular consonants- yep these are my real Sis and Brozz! Our GOOGLE GPS took us rite through the gates of this lavish 7-star resort named the Ananta Resort! Man what a place- we had to like take trains to get to each levels wait a bit of exaggeration- they were cars- yep want a lift- FORGET about it- cause that place didn’t offer one- you had to call the reception on number- 3 and tell them to send a car at your room and- then ju cud travel the PLACE! The bathroom was bigger than your average kitchen and included an outdoor bathing experience- peeps loved it- I am totally gonna recommend it to ja!! The food was exotically WONDERFUL and LEVEL A-1! The henna- mehdi they applied looked like a rock star on moi hands and was epically awesome! The bad part I FELL the day we arrived- now I know u all wanna hear my falling experience with complete resonance (tuning) and never let it be Heard Makaria didn’t tell- cause I am gna!- so it all started at about 2 AM the time we reached the hotel’s gate as told by our GPS- and coz we were late the guard was all like “yo gna check the car’s dikey(I dunno whts it called in universal language but the normal one is this- practically my vocab sucks- I need to gnaw in more dictionaries!) and stuff” and dad was like,  “its packed frm top to bottom- some of the stuff is without the protective bag covering and all- so u cant-open it up” and then he got asked whether he was a wedding guest- to which he told yes and I am sure they wud’ve had wasted loads of our time and made dad angry- but one practically smart man asked him where he was from and dad told him that he was driving a whole day from Punjab and the man saluted him and told him to go, please… WHY- wanna ask, cause well dudes and dudetts, Punjabi’s are top of the floor the coolest peeps EVER- including me- but if a Punjabi is mad or doesn’t get what they want- well u have practically asked for the WAR! Why or how lemme give u an EXAMPLE, an over view of how things work from various parts of INDIA! (This is own seen experience and stuff and isn’t intended to hurt anyone’s feelings, if I do in any way urs- Sorry!) the family- mine; went for my Dadu’s Rotary club excursion in Kullu and Manali- and we saw an accident- nothing major- just this man from Delhi had hit a car of a Delhi man and they were sitting in and fighting- on the road- I told dad- if it had been a Punjabi’s car you bet the Delhi Guy wud’ve been beaten! And he told me if it was a Gujrati’s Car the Gujju wud’ve been saying sorry- so you see we Punjabi’s from the North are EPIC- we have patented songs on our SWAGNESS (a Punjabi originated slang! thasrite) and we are known for our awesome hospitality and Anger! - Major survival tip to anyone coming to PUNJAB- never make a native angry- cause if you do- best of luck! And only the Sardars and Sardarnis aren’t Punjabi- Punjabis are the here living native - Hindus, Muslims, Jains, Christians and Nepali’s too… Sooz back to the wedding track- we went to our ROOM- WHICH WAS EPIC- honestly PAY a VISIT IN ANANTA UDAIPUR- undercover advertiser Back to Service! The service is epically awesome if u get lower level room like starting form 1 or 2 because the guyz have to climb hills all the way up- they don’t get Car service so it’s a bit slow for the top onners but we got the 1st floor yep YYUHOO!! And every order came to us with a blink of an eye! To meet my Granddaddy  and aunt we went to their room on floor 5 by the car- met them and when we came back to ours I fell: slow motion my journey of fall:- the steps up led to the down Villa’s door and the last step if coming from the middle is Huge!  I had my sister in my arms and I kinda misjudged the step’s height and I fell- face down and got hurt epically on my left foot- my sis was safe though! After I got hit I was lying on the floor- crying like a dying whale- yep I was- and my dad was like get up you worthless child- beware of the neighbors- don’t wanna give a bad repo- but I was like go away daddy I’ll be fine- but man he didn’t leave and he was telling me to be mature and come inside and I was like WHAT NOO!! Let me die here- he was like not a chance kiddo… and then I crawled my way in- he offered help but I refused and went on my own!- some of u cud be like AWW kid- u cried and made a scene HAHA! What are you 12- well yep on a scale of 1 to 10!! <nailed it!!> but well dunno for me whenever I fall or something- trust me I do a lot- I usually like to stand up when I am ready for it- you know and the fall was painful my leg hurt monstrously and I just wanted to lie there- I didn’t wanna to be scolded upon- cause like my body- I know how it Works! But Nuh-noo no noo! So I crawled in and dive bombed on to this uber soft BED! And my daddy began testing my foot- to see were it pained and all- but I wasn’t up for it and I screamed! He was all, its okay baby- it’ll be fine and I was like yeah daddy I got hurt not u! And then this happened- he forgot his Phone and the charger in Dadu’s room- did he go there himself= pfft what? noo! Did he was like I’ll take it in the morning= nuhnaa nope! He sent ME! His daughter with a SPRAINED ANKLE AND FOOT! (He isn’t cruel though- his intentions were great!) He made me call the reception for the car- I did somehow controlling my crying sound! And then when it did come I climbed all the way up- writhing in pain- and he didn’t even come to see his only daughter out!! (Well not only but he calls Ahaana his Laddu- the round yellow sweet- and aren’t laddus from the market- he calls me his beti- daughter though!!) I somehow made it to the car- and out brought the phone- dadu was concerned though! And then climbed up slowly (he saw me out!) and I told the driver sorry cause my feet got sprained- I fell cause of which I was dam(ever noticed I don’t rite Damn- well cause- Dam- is a HoO <Heroes of Olympus> thing) slow… he didn’t say anything but stayed there till I was safely inside the room of my door- kinda sweet rite!! People do really care- faith in HumANiTY ReSToREd!! And then I gave the phone to daddy and went to the washroom and all- how had I imagined my self prepping in the outdoor washroom before the wedding buuuut my foot took it all from me- I cud barely stand. And then I went back in and slept on the bed- where technically mum had to- but c’mon me nope giving the luxury of the BED! Dad woke me up in the middle of the night- as I had slept at around 3 lets assume the middle to be morning- I ate chicken-naan and biryani and then I went back to sleep like a comma patient… woke up at around 8:30AM with a bad foot case- tumblingly went to the washroom- to brush and stuff- mum was up and so was one of the twin- called the taxi and went for the breakfast… ever had the privilege to go to a Punjabi’s wedding- please do- it’s a listed number in the list of the To Do’s before you die thing…  the guests and all had to come on the 16th and that’s when everyone had to be welcomed, I was met by my BROZZ- Akshay Bhaiyya and Atul Bhaiyaa (man cud have left the names empty for the pop-up quiz- but gave you a lease this time- to people wondering WHAT?? Read my Brother’s Wedding BlogPosts…<written by me! On this blog though>) on the gate- both were concerned about me foot but the dhol sound kinda didn’t have all that great impression. We greeted who all were there and I told them my fall story- with great mourning sound to get all that- aw poor baby! Love you- feeling. Went for the breakfast- non-veg section was inside the breakfast centre- the weeding lounging was out- so had to climb stairs- bet my foot was cursing me… lack of food made me fill up my plate with the sausages, salami, muffins, fruits, salad, toasted bread, cold coffee, juice and stuff (wonder Question number-1=> I came by the road how did that result to an empty stomach? Coooooooooz, if any of you guyz have had to encounter the privilege of coming to Punjab by road or just pass it <meant for the non-Punjabi’s> or have had to leave Punjab to go to other states by road <meant for the Punjabi’s>- you’d know that after the Punjab border while going to the South- the World of Outside LACKS the availability of food dining areas… cuz lets get this clear Punjabi’s are the only ones who know How to Drink and Eat, rest of the world isn’t that lucky… soooooo not a single shop in site…. Though dad had made the route with the GPS and we had a stop at Hawali<unsure with the spellings thing>- Karnal, Haryana- for breakfast and some other places for the food stops- but we kinda left house at 3AM which messed up the GPS route thing… also the journey wasn’t very nice- had few inconveniences on the way… sooz want something to eat- looking outa the road- forget about it don’t look cause not a single Dhabha <place smaller than a restraunt for eating> would thee be able to find… its when on the journey back did we had the privilege to site a gud place to eat after entering PUNJAB!- how did we know Punjab had been entered, By the board sign? Nunaah! By the theka  <a vern. Word for the vine and liquor shop of Punjab> yep that’s rite as soon I spotted one I was like dad Punjab reached…) – go to the top and join the line with after the full stop thing with the before staring of the bracket thing- that’ll make the lines joined and also make you remember what we were talking about… even I had to do it, hehe. And then took it to the area where dadu and my aunt were sitting so that me and mum could eat it… and then more guests kept coming- we knew this coz as soon as anybody came the Dhol vala started beating the dhol on the Punjabi tune… after some time they started applying the mehndi thing (mum and aunt had to leave- dad and the kids got their breakfast- in case anyone wondering- mum filled their plates and took it to the room…) the mehndi they applied was only like a pattern not the whole hand covered- on both in front and the back (after mine got applied I started seeing around and noticing people done elaborative behind hand design- and was jealous- but still my hand looked good- and it also wasn’t I had to impress anyone- dad saying it was epic was the best thing in the world for me and he says that even if he agrees with me that my hand sucks <kinda love him a lot---- my DAddy!>)  sooooz we then came out my one tauji had also come- Sameer Tauji from Ahemdabad, me and dadu sat with him in the reception area as
1.       I was too tired to go to the room.
2.       We had to be issued new rooms- all together as the actual wedding had started (this is how I got to know that floor 1 had the fastest service as the new room was on floor 5)
Till now everyone knew of my FOOT and sooo Kapil Tauji came (he is the father of the Groom who got married earlier this year in May- when I went to Mumbai…) and gave me spray and stuff- Sameer Tauji gave me combiflam painkiller and stuff- honestly was feeling like a 16th century king… 
I also met the Wedding STArz my sis Aarti di and her hubby to be Gaurang jiju--- also he knows me- haha we got to know at Sunny Bhaiyaa’s wedding last May! He is uber nice and gud! Alsoooooo… the resort staff had never had had the privilege to encounter a Punjabi’s wedding cause- like there were 300 guests alone that were gonna sty there- they had whole families with them too… and the resort management staff were all uneasy and stuff and probably were sweating and getting uneasy behind the big reception table of theirs and stuff…
Toooooo people getting bored and being like we want more bad stuff happening to u- the falling thing wasn’t enough to satisfy our appetite of seeing u be all messy and dirty- well u guyz r in for a treat, cuzzz… I also had stomach ache, probably made these 2 cute outa my league guyz think I am a mess and missed the reception and the opportunity of wearing the only gown I posses and this all happened on the wedding of my SIS as told by all was a GRAND- NEVER to EVER MISS a CELEBRATION!!! (I did curse my immune system a lot laterzz- to peeps getting agitated out there!) butttt these effing wonderfully gorgeous-but-not-for-me treats will be fr u’ll lovelies in ma next blog addition… J
Kenny Sebastian’s standup comedy on YouTube, only the Stand Up one, rest channel is a bore.

And lastly lovelies made an Instagram ID named makriadark follow me and see the me with the glasses and many more things! The many more things r probably gna be my clothes tags- it has wonderful and inspiring things written on it- pictures of food- and some epically strange and weird stuff also glimpses of my room!! Soooooz in short once I become kinda duly engrossed in Insta u r gonna get pics too of how actually weird my world as a whole is!!
you'll probably be viewing nexties in new design so savour this one as much as u can with this effing lengthy post

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